Scribbles in the Lacunae of Time

A thought...

2009-05-23T00:22:00.000-07:00

Every morning you wake up with a lot of expectation, to a lot of expectations. A twinkle of hope in those still sleepy eyes that things would be great today; or things would be better or even just that things wouldn't be that bad.

With every waking moment there's a smile that you bring forth, confidences that you build, from depression you help some rise, to some hope you give, you make them feel special, you make them feel cherished, you make them see the purpose of their lives, you help them grow... With a word, a touch, a smile and perhaps a glance...

Take a moment and look at those faces - which are hurt by you, disappointed with you, in despair because of you, angry, upset and humiliated by something you said, never meant to say..

But don’t forget to cherish and acknowledge those souls - who watch out for you, shed a tear for you, cringe every time you stumble, watch your back, look out for you, make a call when something seems amiss without a reason, fear your being hurt, bite nails for your success and feel elated when they catch your happy voice!

This is a solemn salute to those who have done this for me for so long now and add a glow to me whenever I think of them.. Thank you.

Chennai tales: Part 1 - The basics

2009-04-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

Moving to Chennai was supposed to be much simpler; as compared to moving to Delhi or Kolkatta (not that I have tried this). If only… the Delhi-ites are predictable. There has been a prior study on this race and you are warned about their behavior, what to expect and what to say to push the right buttons. But the vagaries of Chennai (takes seven seconds here to shake her head) are quite a subject to fill text books with!

It does not help if you know the “locals language”, spend two and hours a day on the Madras tamil page practicing, or just act mute and use gestures, the denizens of 6000xy will try to get you one way or another! My horrific and tear jerking stories could almost make you want to get to Chennai and beat these bullies up (playing the ‘Drama Queen’ to the phullest).

So, me being the helpful soul, will do my best to produce here one of the first reports on the Tamil speaking, veshti katt-ing, curd rice eating, Pongal celebrating, pan chewing, muff wearing, whip cracking.. okay, I am digressing. Anyway, here is a guide to those who head to Chennai and plan to stay there for a while- so that you don’t embarrass yourself by not being aware of what his culture demands!

Auto Drivers:

These souls who are out there in the pollution, traffic, heat and other vehicles which have the audacity to follow traffic rules, are the first clan you will interact with the moment you land here. Just when I thought I had them all figured out with my thesis on them (read here), talking to the ones here almost had me jumping with glee for all the material that they would add to my study. (The auto drivers did look at me suspiciously with me smiling at them over-enthusiastically).

Points to be noted:

- The meters in the autos are for the sake of show (read soo) only. You would often see them covered with plastic sheets and protected from dust, rain and wear. Apparently they are constantly in a state of repair and hence used. Some auto drivers are actually kind enough to have these removed just so that the passenger gets more of the metal rod to hold on to while the auto sways across the width of every lane.

- According to them every destination has a one-way which would require them to circuitous route. There would also be a traffic jam which would be a waste of their time (yup not part of their job profile).

- Their will not drop you from railway station to your destination without a profit of Rs. 100.

- The cost sheet would look something like:

0km – 2km Rs. 30

2km – 5km Rs. 50

5km – 7km Rs. 75

7Km- 9km Rs. 100

9km-13km Rs 150

Over 13km Call that taxi at least now!

Don’t let these numbers deter you. With time you will learn to bring down the prices. You could use lines like – I go to that area everyday and I pay . With a lot of haggling he will get the fare down. (You might be called “stubborn”, “con artist” et al at the end of the ride). But brace yourself for mumbles about being conned, nobody else would have agreed to that price and more sob stories.

- All auto drivers WILL have a passport and ask you about the next best destination to head to for work. Half of them would have already visited Dubai and not liked it much. So, read up on those Visa processes and such.

- The most important rule though is – NEVER APPROACH AN AUTO WHICH IS IMMOBILE. These poor souls are there to enjoy their break and will not move until you pay them enough to make the trip worth it!

- If autos are going to be the mode of transport for a while then it is better to strike a deal with one of the guys who drops you from A to B more than once to do the same on a regular basis. If you are girl, be prepared to flip through snaps of him when he was younger, listen to his plans for the future, idea of his kind of woman, about when he plans to marry and such. If you are guy, be prepared to flip though snaps of him when he was younger, listen to his plans for the future and what he likes about men from other cities..

- And then there are those who give you fashion tips on how to wear your hair, what color would suit you and how a bindi/ shades would change your look. Sigh.

Make sure you keep track of how much you pay an auto driver; because this is like the most non-controversial topic which everybody is an expert on, and could be turned into an interesting ego-game when everyone starts comparing notes on how much each paid. One of the best ice breakers I tell you!

Gold:

The next thing which people will urge you to do as soon as you land in Chennai is purchase gold ornaments! There are the exclusive designer shops like Rasvihar and Mustafa and then there are the grocery-shop-like Saravana stores and such.

There is a ritual that you follow when you visit these gold shops. To begin with, you need to be dressed in one of your best. It is the reverence that you show the gold! Silk – a must!! You do not buy gold in a hurry. Be prepared to spend at least an hour in each shop!

You can mention your purchases only when they have been made in Mustafa or Lalida jewelers. Even if you have spent a fortune on gold in a “common” shop, you keep mum about it! And do not refuse the free calendar/ dowdy bag/ flowery purse which they give you. You have to place these around you house in strategic positions just so that anybody who visits you will know about the purchase.

But above all, make sure you do not land in front of the store in an auto! Get down close by and walk, but do not reach by auto!

End of Part 1...

Image credits

Hello, Recesssion, are you there?

2009-02-05T11:00:00.000-08:00

Recession, that invisible cloak which probably dampens every mood, has you constantly looking over your shoulder, go into depression and OD on cookies and roll in the sand with puppies, okay I am losing track. Anyway, the global economic downturn seems to be an excuse that everyone from a jasmine garland seller to the guy who gifts his son a fleet of planes for his birthday seems to use to get things going in their way. I mean, this poor chap who we used to get a couple of lakhs a month at work receives a few measly thousands to call his own now. I'm sure he is starving his poor fish due to this. Sigh.

The point is, does the recession actually exist? I can’t tell anymore! I mean the context in which recession is used as a cause is quite brilliant. It reminds me of a game we used to play trying to connect one object/ person to another through the longest possible chain of closely related objects. (That was the game! The recession, hence you don’t get it!).

Anyway, the so-called-recession has made me look at things in new light and at people with amplified amounts of respect. Who would have thought that people around me would be affected to such an extent and that they would find such brilliant solutions to survive it! THEY are the true sufferers! The things they do/ are giving up/ are putting themselves through in these times. This post is a salute (saving gun powder, so with hand only), a toast (hard times, so bread it is), a show of respect (doesn’t cost anything!!) to these brave souls. The following are the true-life declarations or measures by these awesome people (sob).

Case 1: [Parents to a distraught daughter who has been enjoying her independence all this while and is now chewing nails about her threatened job]. Beti, we so understand your plight in these times of recession. What if you lose your job? How will you survive? So, we have decided to help you out. Here, this is the picture of Venkataramana Seshadri, he has completed his B.E, M.S, Ph. D and has cleared the civil services exam and is working as a railway signals officer. He will never lose his job. So you should marry him!

Case 2:[Boyfriend, clearly not interested in continuing the relationship with his current]. Err… Recession you know, I am so depressed. I can’t talk or meet people. So, I think we should stay away for a while. Will call you when I can afford phone bills again.

Case 3: [Flight attendant giving instructions just before the flight takes off, by using flaying arms and a pronounced pout as a boring voice reads out in the background] In case of anyturbulence experienced during mid-flight, this plant will drop down from the chute above (indicates a creeper one end held against her nose and the other held upwards, proceeds to enclose her head and the plant in a paper bag). Please use the bag placed in front of you to cover your head with the plant held so and inhale. This will take care of the Oxygen supply.

Case 4: [Boy hitting on girl] Honey, who needs civilization. We’ll escape into the jungle, we will live like Adam and Eve; we will hunt with bare hands, it will be exotic and exclusive. By theway, can we start with you giving me a sip of that beer?

Case 5: [Actually a catch 22 when combined with case 1. Parents to distraught son drawing 20% of his salary] Don’t worry, we will get you married. That way you and your wife can both take care of expenses. Rent can be shared, save money and not eat out, spend less on electricity, shower water…

Case 6: [Board at the local retail mall/ car showroom] Due to the current recession, we are letting you “buy” our items for a few months. Items once sold will have to be given back at the end of the prescribed period..

Case 7: [Notice passed around to all employees of a big software firm] You have hereby been instructed to take a month’s leave from work, in the wake of this recession the company can see some revenue by letting the place out to rent to small teams who can afford to pay anything at all!

Case 8: [Paro to Devdas] You suck! Sorry, it’s the recession.

Case 9: [Kid to dad] You suck! It’s the recession, not me!

Case 10: [Di typing out her blog post] Due to recession I am doing my bit and saving power so shutting down……

P.S: There was a horoscope which landed in my parents hands with that name! No kidding!! :P

Proto.in – The startup event.

2008-12-06T00:13:00.000-08:00

It has been six months since the last Proto.in. Time enough for individuals to have been struck by new ideas, spend hours/ days/ weeks working on it and creating their own brain child in this time. They are probably waiting to pick these out of the cradle and show them off proudly, possessively; have them admired, exclaimed at and get suggestions on nurturing them.

So here is your chance!

The nominations for Proto.in are open. If you think that your product is set out to change the lives of its user in anyway, start getting people involved in it right now! Nominate your startup at: http://www.proto.in/nominate/

Currently in its 5th edition, Proto.in is making its way to Bangalore this 23rd and 24th of January. and this time it is ensuring that everyone goes back with something of value.

Proto.in, the startup event, has always strived to provide a platform for thinkers and innovators to Create, Collaborate and Contribute. It is about meeting people who think on the same lines as you, encouraging open conversations and putting a tag on everyone there which reads “approachable”! It is about creating a community which celebrates entrepreneurship and strives at making a difference at the grass roots of the startup environment. Know us better at www.Proto.in.

This edition will see startups beings made in a day, jamming of ideas from brilliant minds, mentoring on how to make a pitch, a greater focus on students and involving them in the startup buzz; along with the main intent of Proto.in – fifteen of the most promising startups showcasing their brilliance.

So, here is a shout-out to all those who have entrepreneurship running through your veins. Join us in Bangalore on the 23rd and 24th of January to bump into people who might listen, value your ideas and improvise on them.

From Kalari to Flamenco through Kathak

2008-10-22T02:56:00.000-07:00

Last evening was one of those few moments when I was in a mood to head out + had great company + there was something interesting to catch! THE NATYA STEM DANCE KAMPNI had a dance recital organized at The Chowdiah memorial hall at 19.15 and we had invites!
The event: "Kampni Sankshep"
An exciting compilation of excerpts from choreographic works spanning the last 13 years!
I was rather doubtful about the whole thing when I saw the invite in the morning, but with the rain Gods taking a break and the traffic being surprising obliging, we reached the venue from the outer ring road, Kormangala in just 40 minutes! That during the peak traffic hour was a feat and was I glad to have tried it!

The recital was just more than an hour long, but the traces that it left on the audience was bordering on awe! The music for the entire event was by Amit Heri and I think him and Madhu have woven music and dance together to create a fabric which is elegant and contemporary, but at the same time retains strands of coarseness and rustic discipline! Though the base was Kathak, the prints on the fabric stamped by dances of various other origins and nationalities, form did have a unique signature alright!

The pieces or Productions as they would like to call them were five in all. Each production was way different from the other and so were the costumes!

My take on each:

Ushas: Meaning dawn, was meant to revere the Sun god. Largely based on Kalari form of dance, the energy and dexterity of the dancers were showcased. It was impressive to see them incorporate genuine swords and daggers as a part of the routine. This certainly was an amazing start for the evening. The lighting theme for this was red.

Storm in Five: The music for this one was something else! It reverberated all through. It was supposed to be based on Jhaptaal, the traditional ten beat time cycle. With pale green lighting, the rhythm was captivating.

Mandala: With visual effects focusing on the Buddhist/ Vedic theme of Mandala, this production was meant to reflect the connection between man and cosmos. Aided by geometric signs, the dance postures took on various shapes and formations.

Sports: this is was a very new concept. Dance variation of the games/ sports in vogue was entertaining! Highly energetic, constantly on a jog the dancers managed to hold their own. The costumes were sports gear, though not hindering the grace or elegance of the movements.

Taraana: This was a favorite! Mixing flamenco with Kathak, this form is supposed to be a pure one taken on by Kathak as it traversed through Afghanistan and other nations before reaching Spain. The difference in the two strains is emphasized through a jugalbandhi of sorts.

Below are a couple of snaps I took of the performance. But was so caught up in the dances that I forgot to click away after a few minutes though each piece!

Garmi ko Maaro!

2008-10-13T03:56:00.000-07:00

Delhi is at one of its hottest and stickiest best during the months of August and September. It goes through its second-summer which returns with a vengeance! When you are a student and lead a simple and humble life (read basic and miserly), you can ill afford a room with a cooler, let alone an air conditioner. The coolers are no help actually, they just add to the humidity! The small, black, we-attack-the-tube lights-till-you-kill-us-with-the-cracker-smoke insects don’t even allow you to let some fresh air in! And it is not advisable to trapeze around, semi clad as you may end up with hicky-lookalike stings which end up leaving nasty scars for years!

Often, I found myself lying wasted under a fan which seemed to rotate reluctantly, with my tongue almost hanging out, which tugged at my brains to conjure means to cool off! There were solutions which brightened my skull in those desperate times and almost managed to provide respite. If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are a few suggestions.

1. Attend classes: I know! But the classrooms are fitted with powerful air-conditioners which drone on, lulling you to a state of lucid dreams. And if you are not a student of any institute, not to worry! Find a course which started a week before – they stop checking the IDs a week after the classes commence. So just carry some random book with you, find a nice corner and trick that nasty Sun! You can do this all through the day if you are not too inclined to move about or exert yourself. You can either attend the course all through the day or shift subjects just for fun. The setback here would be lack of time to grab some grub. You aren’t even allowed to carry food inside the classrooms.

2. ATM refuges: In Delhi, on an average, a market street has a minimum of 10 ATMs. Banks like the South of North East Assam Bank and GujDhokla Bank. North by East West and many more have taken up nice, clean spaces on those busy streets, which seem to be clean and are completely air conditioned. You hardly ever see any customer walk into any of those ATMs. So find yourself one, the color combo of which seems pleasant enough for you and park yourself against a wall. You can traverse up a street and try all of them and pick one with a nice view of the road if you like! (or next to the bread pakoda wala – have him deliver pakodas at regular intervals!). Some of these ATMs also offer water from coolers.

3. Get drenched: Some of the localities are so ill planned that they don’t have their water pipe-networks configured well. Most of the pipes end at odd angles and jut out on to the streets at varying heights! Once you have stayed in any of these localities for long enough, you will learn the pattern in which the various uncles of the house switch the water pumps on and off. Invariably the practice is once in the morning and once in the evening. And at least two houses in a street will have overflowing tanks with the excess water gushing through the pipes and cascading on to the narrow lanes. Pick your favorites and make sure you are positioned right under it for a nice cool shower after a hot, sticky day! Beware of the countless pups though; they tend to earmark and guard their spots possessively!

4. Metro prayan: This has been my personal favorite! A token bought at any of the metro stations stays valid for 3 hours. So, buy one for a minimum fare, get on to any of the lines (I prefer the Blue line), park yourself against the wall at either end of the metro and bump away from one end of the line to the other and back. The air-conditioning inside is quite effective and will keep you comfortably cooled all through. But do be careful to be close to a station near the one at which you got on, when you are close to completing the three hours. And secondly, be careful not to fall asleep which you chug along – don’t want to have your possessions missing, do you? Carry a nice book and some music along. Sigh, it was quite pleasant.

5. Shikanji: The name did get my guard up and eye the concoction with suspicion! But this drink, sold in plastic cups on the roads is quite delicious and cooling. It is basically a tangy drink made by adding sugar, masala powder and a shot of lime to a glass of crushed ice. The price is very low and can be downed in a jiffy. Though it would be quite unfair for me not to repeat what I was told – the masala is added to hide the stench of the morgues, from where the ice for the drink is brought from! Oh well, what the hell!

6. Visit your land owner: I have stopped believing it to be a coincidence anymore! The homes of the land lords are always cooler! You can drop in on them to discuss the tiny crack which has appeared on your ceiling or the sudden change in the pressure of water gushing out of your kitchen tap! The cool dark interiors are a relief from the sauna of your room. Moreover, there will always be a cook who can be cajoled into serving you a glass of cold water, if not a tall glass of juice!

7. Mall-igrimage: (Disclaimer: Author has not tried this solution herself, but has been assured that it is quite effective. Find yourself a huge mall of you liking and settle yourself down against a wall to enjoy the air-conditioning. (even Palika Bazaar is air-conditioned). With the new LCD television screens playing 5 videos over and over again, you should be quite entertained and kept cooled for more than 2-3 hours. Once bored, shift to another floor!

These have been the most cost-effective and convenient ways of thrashing the heat that I could employ. Do write in if you know anymore better, easier or cheaper means of chilling in Delhi!

I hope you dance....

2008-05-07T05:45:00.000-07:00

Rediscovered this song after a while and fell in love with the lyrics all over again... The accent of course, is something else!!!

Shru, this one's for you.

LYRICS:

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat, but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

Chorus: I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,
I hope you dance, I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances, but they're worth takin’
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it's worth makin’
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,
I hope you dance (time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (rolling us along)
I hope you dance (tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance (where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,

dance, I hope you dance,
I hope you dance (time is wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (rolling us along)
I hope you dance (tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance (where those years have gone)
(tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(where those years have gone)

Nothing lost, nothing gained?

2008-05-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

This was like a couple of drops of sweet water to my thirst to stay out, live by myself, fend for myself and come through with bruises and scars. I always wanted the scars; wanted to look at each and every one of them and smile back at the story associated with each. I felt the scars were what shaped character. I knew that the pain which each scar brought while being inflicted would be sometimes too painful to bear, but that was what made it more exciting. I thought I would turn out to a better person for him at the end of the day.

Landing in a new place with a modest bank balance and a conviction to not ask for monetary help; talking, smiling, mildly flirting with the localities to make things easier; archiving every incident, making note of every anecdote, enjoying every moment just so that I could then recount them to him and laugh with him when he saw it the same way that I did. Soaking in the smells, the language, the taste, the heat – for him to see them through my eyes and hear them through my words, live them through me. My adventure.

Writing down every penny spent, living on basic necessities, not caring about what it was that calmed a ferocious hunger, walking miles, traveling in buses – making sure he’d know that I could enjoy any kind of living, however difficult if need be, as long as it was his words to which I fell asleep to every night.

Chasing wild dreams, taking big risks, making big leaps, putting everything that matters at stake, racking my brains for ideas, finding a better, no an optimum, solution for everything – proving to myself that I could think on my feet and not just be a trophy by his side.

It was a soul searching experience – showing me that I could make choices and have the courage to bear the consequences. I needed to know that I wasn’t afraid to step into the rising tide to enjoy the furious onslaught of the demonic waves. To know - that the feeling of that was worth the limp, clingy clothes and the uncomfortable, itchy sand after. But the tide took him with it, on its way back.

It was lovely. The wounds cut deeper than I had expected. The scars will take longer to heal. But a few things have sorted themselves out. I can throw my head back and at laugh at the world. I can’t say when I might stop flinching when I touch the wound, but I know I will.

Learning to blow smoke-rings and enjoying the burn while gulping neat – awesome!

And it rained....

2008-04-30T04:46:00.000-07:00

THIS is why I love Bangalore!!!

Of Bharat and Indians...

2008-04-22T05:34:00.000-07:00

It is no longer just a well know secret. The politicians aren’t even bothered to be discreet about it. The present day contenders for a seat in our country’s houses of Parliament seem to be driven by the motto “I shall be popular or unpopular; but I shall be notice!!”
They will fall to any depths to achieve this. The scruples of these so-called representatives of the people are so questionable that people are left speechless even to oppose it.

The political parties of India have their fair share of brains that seem to know what would trigger the required response from the masses and seem to be willing to bear the consequences of it. But these certainly don’t seem to be the ones leading the parties. I'm sure that the intention behind the actions of these leaders are meant to elicit something other than exasperation and they somewhere along the way forget the script!

The wannabe politicians of the bygone era banked on the well experimented and studied path of promising the masses with amenities and basic necessities, to be provided once they win the election. Their credit has been so bad in the past that the masses have realized that these are hollow promises and are not convinced by their talks anymore. The contenders after being elected might have perfunctorily set up a bore-well or started digging a well or even erected a lamp post in the middle of a village or small town. But this did not answer the problems of the masses living there. Unfortunately, now the masses have settled themselves in a state of indifference and vote either based on precedence or what has been set as convention.

With fractions forming in the old parties and new leaders wanting to be noticed, the PRs of the infant parties seem to be stopping at nothing to have a foot forward. Their goal seems to be to instigate some feeling into the masses; awaken them. However shameful the means might be, it seems to be justified in their eyes.

The spotlight right now is to wade in muck created by disparities in caste/ religion among the masses. This is certainly not a new trick. The Brits who dominated our nation for centuries resorted to this “divide-and-rule” policy when every other strategy seemed to fail.

One would think that the masses would have gotten smarter and not fall for the same trick again as it has been torn apart and discussed shred by shred. But not our dear politicians; they quite ridiculously drag in the caste issue at times when it is least relevant and it somehow never fails to wake from slumber, masses who till then were quite secure and content with their lives. This issue is so succulent that the politicians can manage to squeeze more juice out even after their elections. It seems to be their way of portraying that they are being productive.

The government is not unaware of this and is making an effort to address the actual issues of the country. It has being trying to get the focus on to the grassroots by passing various legislations and setting up various study groups to form reports. The few do-gooders or those who believe in the day of reckoning have initiated certain measures to resolve the problems at the grassroot level.

To function efficiently at the grassroot level, the institution of Panchayat Raj has been worked on as a solution for a couple of decades now. Panchayat Rajs are local bodies of government dealing with the people directly. Though the Brits have to be given credit for its inception, it is being made to suit our purposes only now. The year 1999- 2000 was even declared as the year of the Panchayat Raj. The Ministry of Rural Development and the Ministry of Panchayat Raj seem to be the major focus of the government now. The implementation of these has not been consistent through out the country, but there has been a significant number established and running.

The involvement of the politicians in this is again not prominent. The PRIs (Panchayat Raj Institutions) are supposed to be ears to the pleas of the masses. But how effective they have been in this, is quite unclear. More spotlights and involvement in this will certainly shift the focus away from the caste/ religion “issue”.

Standing committees and Ad-hoc committees set up to aid the administration have shown signs of being effective. Be it in validating the budget allocation or executing policies or even working for a cause. A few more committees set up with the sole purpose of ensuring the politician’s duties being fulfilled would certainly do our system some good. Though the committees themselves doing their duties right could be a debatable topic, which is entirely a different stream to be talked about.

The politicians are not left completely unchecked either. The civil societies and NGOs seem to stepping up and demanding that issues be dealt with immediately. They also follow up on what they start and see to it that their demands are met.

The most powerful and effective though seems to be the refusing-to-be-suppressed media and the willing-to-participate citizens. With people voicing their displeasure and fighting for their rights and the media, either to have a story or being politically driven or actually being concerned, unveiling the lack of competence there still is hope.

At the end of the day, one cannot help but acknowledge that what the politicians are doing is trying to keep their heads above the water. As a great man once said, only the fittest shall survive. But it would be appreciable if the politicians were more aware of their actions and not end up looking stupid. I might actually feel happy about having politicians who are smart and able to get away with their acts, rather than those who are quite often caught sheepish, with a foot in their mouth.

blogathonindia,
blogathonindia1

Exhilaration..

2008-04-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

That is exactly what I feel when I listen to him. The music is perfect. Makes you want to close your eyes; puts an involuntary smile on your face. Right from ‘Lux Aeterna’ to ‘Death is the Road to awe’ and ‘the Last man’ – this man creates magic. His music makes you aware of every cell in your body; makes each and every one of them come alive!

I am talking about Clint Mansell.

I feel happy after a long time. The music makes me not think of anything else.

Experience it here!

In pursuit...

2008-04-16T01:47:00.000-07:00

I’m frustrated! Trying to find a mind that would think logically; rationally. Surrounded by throngs who think the way they do because it has been thought so all along.
To find a mind which is not bound by emotional constraints when it is thinking. A mind which has the capacity to apply pure simple logic and does!

“He is my friend, I can’t tell him that he is irrational”; “she is my mother, I can’t say she is illogical”; “he is my boyfriend, how can I argue with what he is saying”; “she is my sister; she needs me to agree and support her”!

I don’t want to hurt him/ her.

When will this shackle break and let people clear their vision and think straight?

Who decides whom to hurt and whom not to?

I hurt. To me someone being so stuck on being right that he/ she refuses to see logic is hurtful. The moment someone stops being direct and straight in his/ her words, a part of my hope-pie disappears.

There, a glimpse, a tantalizing glimmer of a sane mind. A mind not constricted by the web of wanting to sound nice, to be construed as good, not striving to be liked. Just plain truthful. Seeing and analyzing things for what they are. Being direct.

Then you realize the glimmer is just the reflection of an external source of light. You are faced with a shiny, opaque object. The luster fades. You see it for what it is – a dull, depressing object. Emptying your belief in the existence of a clear mind a little more!

But I’m sure it exists. I will explore every opportunity which shows a glimmer; treat it like a sign that says “wait! There might be more!”.

Geeky Parents

2008-04-02T05:19:00.000-07:00

Mom is back! Armed with advanced technical expertise and a Toshiba laptop to call her own. Her daily routine involves surfing for latest news in the morning, reclining on the bean bag and getting her daily dose of entertainment from the various online games that she plays. Dad seems to be at a loss when she decides to steer the conversation towards the finer nuances of using the laptop. The following is an extract between her and dad a few days back.

Dad just checks mails on the computer and opens the sites or documents that mom might want to read. After one such exercise,

Dad: I have opened the sites that you had asked for. Should I leave the laptop just so?
Mom: Why? Leave it on hibernate mode. That will save power.
Dad: Hmm, how do I do that?
Mom: Press Ctrl+Alt+Delete….
D: That will shut down the system.
M: No.. Wait.
Tries to do so by herself.
M: Why are you using Vista? It is not that good.
D: I am comfortable with windows.
M: Pah. You should start using Kubuntu. It is much better than windows. It has so many options. It is easier to use.
D: I like windows.
M: You should learn to try new things….

Mom has also taken to use her laptop to avoid walking from the living room to my room. Considering she has to walk all the way, knock on my door, wait for me to open the door and then ask me whatever she wants to. Incident-

Studious me studying in my room while logged into GChat. A ping and a window,

Mom: Div, what are you busy with?
Me: Huh?
Mom: The dot next to your name is red.
Me: oh! I was studying.
Mom: Good. Concentrate.
Me: ok
Mom: Wanted to check if you have XYZ aunty’s number with you. I have been trying to call her for the past 15 minutes. I seem to have got the number wrong.

I give up and walk to the living room to talk.

Though mom may seem to have taken giant leaps, dad is not lagging too far behind either.
A month back I get a mail from him. It contains a link to one of my pictures in Orkut and a message with it –
“This is not such a nice snap. And by the way, I saw the list of all your friends and fans too. :)”

Well, this just means I better buckle up and update myself. Soon they would have more queries and I should be in a position to answer!!

Anxious!!

2007-09-26T05:12:00.000-07:00

"My bags are packed, I'm ready to go...
I'm standing here, outside my door.."

It has been an eventful week of saying goodbyes, getting things order and preparing myself for a big change.

And I AM SCARED WITLESS!!

A new place, no job, a goal which seems to be wrapped in layers of difficult wrapping..

But I am looking forward to a new adventure; moving out of home and actually having a specific aim to work towards after a very, very long time.

I don't even know if I'll have net access there to blog!!

*PHEW*

What really grinds my gears…

2007-08-25T10:54:00.000-07:00

The Auto Drivers Union in Bangalore is a very well developed and structured organization. The foundation and the rules that they have in place is the wet dream of any management student’s topic for a thesis. The hierarchy structure, power delegation, branch management is astounding. The government should make their officials observe these masterminds at terrorizing the common man into being subdued rather than have them sent to China and create controversies.

The union has commandments which an auto driver has to abide by if he wants to enjoy its benefits. Any auto driver who refuses to abide by them either does so clandestinely or will have to bear the insults and dark looks of the union members.

The commandments are as follows:

• Thou shall not agree to go wherever the person stopping you asks to go, for the first couple of times.

• If thou do agree to go, thou has to either quote an exorbitant price or ask for one and a half times what the meter shows.

• The rate at which your meter increases will have to be unique. That is, no two autos will display the same amount for a given distance.

• If thou choses to wait for a passenger in the auto stand, thou and the rest of the union members have to have a 15 minute meeting and discuss your POA for the day and refuse to ferry passengers during that period of time.

• Thou shall choose and develop one of the following mannerisms to antagonize the passenger along with rash driving –
1) Spitting once every four minutes
2) Play loud Kannada tapes or tune into the Kannada channel on the radio.
3) Have seats which keep sliding off their positions giving the passenger a bad time every-time you apply sudden brakes.
4) Smoke evil smelling beedis
5) Run out of kerosene* once every half an hour and stop on the roadside to fill the tank from a foul smelling bottle.
6) Have weird ring tones on your cell phone or speak loudly on it while your driving reduces the passenger to hysterics. [53rd Amendment, 2005]
7) Make sure that the vehicle either lets out thick, grey exhaust fumes or make enough noise to mask the screams of the terrorized passengers.

• Thou shalt rent the back of your auto for weird advertisements and pay 10% of the income to the Union maintenance.

• Thou shalt overtake and cut across the path of a non-union member and display your disgust of him if you see his auto in your line of sight.

• Thou shalt be very, very and that is, very, polite to non- Indian looking passengers as you can feed on their sympathies with sob stories and extort money. (Or even go round the same circle thrice before heading the right direction). [25th Amendment, 2002].

The union has a few unwritten policies in place for the convenience of the union members – employee benefits, as it is called in the corporate world.

The policies at a glance:

- if you are heading home after a long day and a passenger who stops you happens to be going that way, you can agree to take him there for the fare that the meter shows. Think of this as the money being paid for you to go home.

- If there is a policeman around and a passenger dares to make a plea for help, don’t worry! The policeman has been advised to talk in your benefit or treat the passenger like a fruit fly (Drosophila melanogaster, for those biologically inclined). That is an organism whose presence is quite irritating and makes you move away but does not cause any severe damage.

- If some passenger does manage to intimidate you and you are forced to take them to their destination then make sure that you find out where the passenger’s residence is and when is the likely time that the passenger can be caught at home. The union will provide the reinforcements to make the passenger’s life a living hell.

- The help of scouts can also be availed for surveillance and information gathering by requesting for it.

- For union members who have been exceptionally good at abiding by the commandments and at making the Union proud of them, titles will be conferred on. The titles are auto- (to be prefixed to the member’s name. Eg: auto Manja, auto Rama) , killer- (also to be prefixed. Eg: killer shankara) , -raja (to be suffixed to the member’s name. Eg: kari raja).
NOTE: The title “a`nna” ** was the highest order which could be conferred. But after the union presented Dr. Raj Kumar with the same, no other member has been awarded the same. This is their show of undying respect and love for the great man.

- Tokens of appreciation will also be given to the deserving members which might include music systems or radios (which play music only at a single frequency, which should be just a decibel less that what takes to shatter ear drums), snazzy lights (which are assured to turn the interior of the auto into your favorite dance bar), glittery interior upholstery (this will certainly dazzle the passengers enough to not be able to see the rates on the meter clearly) and also a few ornamental bars for the side of the auto (these will make sure that the passengers will not grab hold of it and soil your sacred auto).
NOTE: Any new member who has been enrolled into the union will be given a picture of either Dr. Raj, Shankar Nag or Ramya***, a tape of a kannada movie and also a khakhi shirt. It is not mandatory to use these.

- If you want to drive your friends around then you can stuff the auto with 6 passengers and the risk of police harassment will be eliminated.

- Basic English tutoring is available for those members who would like to make a few extra tips by bowling the non-Indian passengers over with their impeccable skills at the language.

A thorough study has been made on the attitude of the common man, the police men and also the mental state of the average union member before these commandments and policies have been compiled.

A few of their most valuable findings have been:

- Nobody will come to the rescue of a passenger if he or she is being harassed by an auto driver. This is especially true in case the nearest person that the passenger can turn to is a policeman.

- If you are curt and your voice can have a strong essence of arrogance, the passengers will be immediately mortified and will give in to their demands. The passengers are more worried about being embarrassed in public at being spoken to in such a way by an auto driver, than actually being treated like scum by them.

- Policemen can be easily bought and sold. As in, it is easy to “hire” policemen to work for you. It is also easy to sell them, as in disgrace them in front of their fellow culprits when you are done with them

- The average auto driver takes about a week to learn the tricks of the trade and become an angry young man.

- the best way to deal with angry/ vocal passengers to treat them with an expression of resigned silence or to feign a case of bad hearing.

- the measures to stop the atrocities committed by auto drivers , like the website where you can report the registration numbers of the autos or the numbers which you could call to are all farce. None of them actually help the passengers.

- by indulging the authorities a teeny-weeny bit, you can stretch it a mile in your favor. Like the law that the drivers have to display their driving license copies in the auto, you can get away with not renewing your license at all!

Well, that is how much I could concur from my unintended observations. Imagine the treasure chest which lies unopened for all the ambitious, future management gurus and entrepreneurs! My wishes to you guys!

And that is what grinds my gears…..

* Yes, that is what the autos run on.
** Variants - A`nnavru, Devru. Kannada adjectives.
*** Thought this might make you look for this section even if the first few stars didn’t manage to!

kabhie kabhie...

2007-07-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

On one of my days where I wasn’t playing the “torment-the-fake-dvd-seller-on-the-road”, where I sift through all the dvds that the guy has to offer and ask him for a combination of movies that I would be sure that he would have never even had nightmares about, I picked up a dvd with a movie I actually would have preferred not to watch, “Life mein kabhie kabhie”! Starring Dino Morea, Aftab and a few others. All right, whom am I kidding!! I am a sucker when it comes to a dimpled, brawny hero (except Mr. Pink T-shrirt!! Arrrgh!! Hrithik)!
Anyway, the movie was quite a surprise. A very interesting story, thought provoking one. One, which does nothing to soothe my qualms at this juncture in life. Having quit my job and set my eyes upon a (now seemingly) distant dream, the movie hit a 7 on Richter’s scale. Makes me want to crawl under my bed and not want to come out.

But then again, my turn around time is almost 0.11456 seconds. Right now I feel brave enough to write all about it!

The movie is about five friends who graduate together. Four of them are full of life and vigor and ambition and aspire for the so called vices like money, power, fame and success, which would bring them happiness! The fifth one, who could actually be a good F and O consultant, makes tempts them into placing a bet on themselves, taking money from them, claiming that at the end of five years, the one who has succeeded in his or her endeavor could claim the sum of it all! But guess what, at the end of it all, the laid back, life-decides-my-fate guy actually ends up getting all these by being smart and writing a book about these four!

The four, whom I completely relate to, are normal kids who dream to make it big and to that extent have all the right props to help them reach their goals. They are smart; know what they want, where they want to be and also a plan to get there. It is nice to see their confidence, arrogance and I-know-where-I-am-headed attitude! They are in control and execute their plans to perfection. They reach wherever they want to go and also sell a part of their souls on their way. But hey, they seemed to be very much aware of what they were doing and were willingly parting with it.

But hey-ho! They are suddenly assailed by bad luck and either see their castles tumbling or they seem to think that the part of their soul that they sold was too expensive a price to pay. They all seem to think that they don’t deserve the stake money! Hello!! What happened to the never say die attitude??

How can the plans of four people fail at the same time? That part of the story is really a head banger (makes you want to bang your head against something hard).
Getting what you want might require you to wade through muck for a while, but as long as you have the drive, even that is tolerable. But what really matters is holding on to the goal. A change of heart in the middle of your quest is something which would really screw up your head. A sudden realization that what you are looking for is not what you actually want, but you are already so deep into it that you see no other means for life, could certainly drive you to an overdose of those sleep inducers.

If going after what you want and being clear on what you are willing to do to get what you want is a bad formula for happiness in life, then what is happiness? The typical self-help, personality improvement talk at the end of the movie, which would make a Dracula throw up his meal in mortification, seems to be far from reality for me. The four people are portrayed as wrong doers who give up their craving for success and settle for mediocrity. But then by watching ten minutes of any of the saas-bahu-bitch serials one learns that the miss goody two shoes always lead a wretched and helpless life!

This movie covers most of the routes to “successdom”. Movie star, politics, entrepreneur-ing, being married to a billionaire socialite and even a writer – all roads lead to failure or mediocrity! (Now I feel like gathering my bed covers up, again!)

Something must work!! But, what?

The movie could have done with some better acting, but a few songs – it certainly could have done without. The dialogs were rather nice and if you want to save yourself some weeping due to guilt, skip the last five minutes of the movie (the concluding speech that is).

More when I find ways for world domination!

PS: The acting sucks!

Caught in the Deathly Hallows

2007-07-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

Managed to pull myself away from the book for a couple of minutes.

There is nothing more satisfying than being curled up in bed with the 7th Harry Potter book, after a scrumptious dinner, with the pitter-patter of the rain outside the window adding the perfect rhythm....

One of the things that make life worth living...

A beach with no sand..

2007-07-16T11:47:00.001-07:00

White crepes swirling around you, trees swaying gently, the white canopy muting the afternoon glare, medieval furniture making the time stop and a non stop flow of wine, spirit and cocktails! I couldn’t ask for better props for a lazy, Sunday morning brunch!

We got the last table available at the place and were grateful for that! A few low divans thrown around a table and cocooned almost all sides by white drapes, the place was perfect. Which place am I talking about? OLIVE BEACH, Castle Street.

The brunch, priced at 1500 has quite a spread, starting with pitas with various dips like – blue cheese, spiced mango, salsa and a lot more. The chicken was to die for. The rice wrapped in wine leaf was quite interesting too. Apparently the cold cuts, beef, lamb chops and the fish were delectable! The ham and bacon looked interesting too! They also have pizzas and sautéed potatoes! Call me chicken, but I didn’t think I could stomach the oysters served with shots of Bloody Mary!

The main course was a spread (which I don’t remember much of :D ) with a pasta bar close by.

The drink menu had Apple Martini (which I highly recommend), Chocolate martini (a country bred cousin of Baileys), Breakfast Martini (Orange that is), Litchi Martini (wouldn’t recommend this one), pineapple martini (a distant relative of pina colada, with a dash of coconut milk), red wine, white wine, vodka shots (good if you want to be drunk silly) and also myriad mock tails. Here’s a picture of few of the drinks that we sampled.

The dessert section left us drooling! Mud pie, mango jelly, almond and vanilla short bread, waffles with maple syrup/ honey, whipped cream, castor sugar, cinnamon and fruits, cinnamon bun, orange in syrup, chocolate and strawberry pastry, some soufflé, bread sticks dipped in chocolate….. (Can’t quite remember the rest).

The cheese selection wasn’t as good as the one at Leela, but the rest of the variety made up for it. The soup apparently wasn’t too bad either!

The trio was quite good but rather disappointed with our inebriated, halfhearted response!
Here they are!

Mind the blue pools on the ground floor while heading out. You might just step onto the blue glass floor as a part of your merry exit!

Here are a few more snaps!

PS: All snaps were shot with my MOTO ROKR E6

Let's not have sex!

2007-06-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a play called "Let's have sex"; written by Valentin Krasnogorov and directed by Amjad Prawej. It was a Workshop production. The play was described as a comedy, with the exploration of the topic of sex between a married couple.

Warning: Play ending revealed in the rest of the writeup

The play started off with grabbing my interest with the well written humor. (I also spent quite a while trying to place one of the actors on stage who seemed to be very, very familiar!!!). The script revolved around four characters, a married couple, a professor and a "young, inexperienced" girl who all seem to base their excitement, boredom, happiness, loneliness and even their basis of life on sex. The idea of viewing it from different points of view was very enthralling in the beginning.

But, after the first half an hour, you feel like standing up and yelling, "all right you don't have sex, we got the point. Now move on"!! It dragged so badly at certain parts that I am sure they left impressions on the wooden stage (he he). There was a mild sprinkling of humor even there which let me stay seated till the end of the play. They even seem to think that they can have conversation about nothing, but sex.

The truth at the end that all the four characters are just inmates of a mental asylum and their characteristics are the make believe roles which they have assumed, was quite a twist. Cynical too. Though the "old nurse" with her south-park like lectures left a very, very bad taste in the mouth!

A part of the audience walked out in the middle. And they took the whole "I'm being unconventional and using "sex" as a topic in the play" way too much into their heads. They could have directed it better.

The play was held at Alliance Francaise and I must say, they could surely do with a new set of chairs for their auditorium!!!

For information about plays and theater work shops in Bangalore, you can refer to the theater site- Click here.
Though still under construction, it seems like a good bet to find up-to-date details.

There are goats and then there are goats

2007-06-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

Life is full of decisions. At every point there is an opinion to be had, a stance to be held or an action to be taken. I personally find this very tiring! Like in a party or social gathering- everybody is contemplating the success of a new product. They would analyze the product right from its features, cost to who the maker slept with and if the litter of his cat were his! At this point you need to have a take on the matter to be able to add an intelligent comment. I mean, it is not enough to just have an opinion but also have the right one, if not you better be comfortable enough with yourself to not care about being a social outcast or a wallflower!

Imagine this, you go to a party preparing yourself to get drunk and you find yourself flanked by overly energetic smarties who start a “smart” discussion.. you might even manage to tune your reflexes to stare at the guy whose mouth is moving at any instant of time (yeah, you need to be extra careful here as he might just be chomping down on a Hors d'oeuvre!), when suddenly you notice that none of the mouths around you are in motion and also that all the eyes are focused on you! At this point of time you need to strain your grey cells to remember what exactly was being discussed, if you had been forced have an opinion on this on an earlier date (if you had you could save yourself some trouble and reuse those statements), if you hadn’t then you need to then you need to think of all the possible opinions that you could have, evaluate the possible reactions that the opinions might incite, pick one which might incite the person who you dislike the most and then open your mouth and state it! All this in a time frame of 5 seconds.
Or you could just look at all their faces laugh out offensively and walk away. This is of course when you don’t care about being invited to another free-drinks-for-making me-look-like-a-party-animal invite!

These are times when I wish I had a fall back guy or a scapegoat! You know the kinds when I do something or say something which I might want to retract later and not look bad doing it, all I need to do is point to another person and say “that one”!!

Something like Tushar Kapoor (hope I’ve spelt that right. What with these actors adding as many extra consonants or vowels to their names in the hope that that might actually help them act!). Like I was saying, the Bollywood industry has quite a deal with Tusshar Kapoor willing to act in movies. They are getting him quite cheap!

I’m sure it starts with the movie producer / director not being sure about the possible success of a movie. As in, with a script which may or may not click in the box office, they need something to blame the “flop” on. In cases like these a Tusshar in the movie is a must! They give him a part in the movie or even custom-make a role just for him and ask to take the part. The poor idiot is so desperate for roles that he takes on anything which comes his way. He does his bit in the movie, though I must say is a natural!! A natural buffoon on screen and is rather consistent at that! Just look at him, the innocent dork!

Disclaimer: I got this picture from some website and please do not believe any source which tries to defile me by stating that I collect Tusshar’s pictures and stare at them every night!

Now, when the movie is about to be released the makers can sleep quite peacefully at night. Because of dear old Tusshar! Let us consider the two scenarios-
Case 1: Flop- If the movie flops they can always make it seem like Tusshar’s acting was so bad that it was bound to happen!
Case 2: Hit- If the movie turns out to be a blockbuster, people would obviously say, “what an awesome movie. Except for Tusshar”!

For example, there was this movie - "Mujhe Kucch Kehna Hai". It bombed at the box office (Can't explain the relatively high rating seen on the on the site) and the general opinion was that Tusshar was horrible in the movie! On the other hand, Kareena who was equally, sometimes more pathetic, in the movie than him quickly rose to fame, with just a mention sometimes that she was in a few movies like "Mujhe Kucch Kehna Hai"! This movie was a scar on brave Tusshar, which can never be erased

And the new movie, "Shoot out at Lokhandwala" is quite a hit (yes, this has the same rating on the site as the previous movie! What can I say about our Tusshar's efforts to maintain consistency)
The movie is said to brilliant in every way, except they could have chosen somebody else in place of Tusshar. So, even though the movie gets rave reviews none of them go sweet Tusshar's way!!

See, both ways, the movie makers don’t get a bad name!! They might either get accolades or they can just steer clear of being anywhere near where the movie is mentioned.

Tusshar makes life much simpler and problem free! If only he knew his true worth!

ROKR!!

2007-04-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

I bought my first mobile phone of choice today and what a phone at that!! A motorokr!!
And with the big mess that I was in ith buying a W810i, this is like a complete turn on!

The phone is awesome, though the touch screen needs some getting used to after owing a Nokia for a greater part of the last 6 years! I shall outsource singing the praises of the features of the phone to this site.

But what really is sweet is the Business card reader. I saw an instrument which did this in UK and was berating myself for not picking it up. This phone has an inbuilt reader!
The 1 Gb memory card ( an SD card at that!!) is not something I am complaining about! :D
The interface is a bit slow in response but nothing which makes you want to tear your hair out in frustration. The games on it are amazing and so is the picture and audio quality! Initially it seems like there are not many features present, but you need to explore a lot to appreciate this one!

More reviews and gagas as I discover more about this hottie!

The buying of this phone taught me a lesson though -not to go to an unknown sidey shop to buy a mobile.
I must tell you about this “fono mobile” shop on resthouse road. I asked him for W810i and he was very gracious in quoting a price about 2k less than the authorized dealers. He said he would get me an unopened piece and showed me a picture of a black W810i and I nodded furiously at it. He wanted the entire amount to be in cash so I asked him to get the phone and went to withdraw the cash. Well, before this he mentioned that the phone came along with a 512Mb card and agreed to trade it for a 1gig one which cost me 400 Rupees extra.

I comeback and he opens the box to remove the 512 Mb card and lo behold, a pristine white phone with orange decorations!
Hello? Do I look one of your kind, right from Dubai who would jump for joy at such a monstrosity? This was after I had stupidly paid the full amount and taken a bill. He asked me to use it for a couple of days as the black one was an old version and they did not have the stock! (????). I had to yell stamp my feet and threaten to jump over the counter before he returned most of the money. (he kept 500 Rs to himself saying that he would exclude the amount when I picked up the phone the next day). Well, that I had to be content with that. I was told to pick up the phone post 11 am the next day!

I call him at least 30 times between 11.15 and 11.45 and nobody picks up! At last I get an answer at 1.50 and the guy says he will ask the owner to call. The “owner” calls and says that the phone would be available only at 3 pm. On asking why he answers that the day was Friday and he his prayers would keep him busy till 3 and I would have to wait for him till then.

I call at 3.30 pm and ask him if I could come then and he says that the black phone is not available. I was furious! I landed in front of his shop and demanded my money back. The “owner” runs away saying he will be back and leaves me to talk to this shmuck who hardly looks a day older than 16 in his supposed- to- be- white kurta. He wanted me to go their “other shop” in the next building to collect my money. When I refused he had the gall to say “then just stand here, I don’t care”. My threatening him to call the cops did not faze him a bit!

I don’t know what changed his mind later that he called the owner back and he very pleasantly said that the phone wasn’t available and returned my 500 Rs! It was one demeaning experience.

But I must be thankful as I got mah ROKR, which has been making me walk on air ever since.

Minding the Gap....

2007-04-15T02:55:00.000-07:00

I entered, to be faced by a black wall with blown up pictures of women holding up letters of the alphabets, which read “ Y R U LOOKING AT ME”; on the other side of the wall are pictures of women in “suggestive” clothes and poses. Lines of string stretched in the space between the black makeshift wall and the concrete wall displayed pieces of clothing given by many women without being asked for them. A sprinkling of people, who greeted each other with a nod of recognition, were standing in groups of twos and threes, talking. This was the event hosted by Blank Noise Project at Max Mueller Bhavan on the 13th of April.

I walked around by myself thinking that this was rather a disappointment as the event was supposed to start at 6.30 and at 7.30, I couldn't see anything happening. Nobody seemed to have a clue about what was happening and what was about to happen. But the walking around made me delve into thoughts that had taken seed in my head on my way to the place.

How many times have I been “eve teased”? I had been able to come up with only one occasion - when I was about 10. But during the walk through around the place I remembered many more instances when I had been the target of unwanted attention. Right from a guy who was riding a cycle on the road on way home from music class to a passer by whom I stopped to ask directions. I was really amazed that I could forget it when at the instant that the events had occurred, I had been really wild at not being able to get back at the men who had been insolent. I concluded that this has to do with the way my mind had been conditioned when I was a kid.

There is a stark difference in the way that people in the North and the South of India deal with the concept of eve teasing.

Men in India are generally nurtured with the idea that they are a boon to the women on this Earth. Their mothers make them believe that they are the smartest, most good-looking creatures on Earth and that women cannot help but be drawn to them. Until here the matter is consistent both in the north and the south of India.

When it is comes to a girl, she is but an article to be deported sooner or later.
I remember coming home as a kid, telling my parents about some guy being “nasty” to me. The immediate response that I received from both of them was “what did you do to draw attention?”, accompanied by accusatory stares, which would have made even Saddam start chanting hymns in repentance. This is the case in most of the South Indian families. If a guy makes a pass, it must be in reaction to something which the girl initiated! The girl is at fault! Be it wearing tight jeans or walking on the roads past 5 pm (more commonly used phrase – after sunset), or even just laughing out heartily in public! The girl has to feel dirty about herself for having drawn attention to herself and check her premises before accusing a guy! Almost all girls have to endure the demeaning task of putting up with a slobbering uncle who finds it completely natural to have an arm around the child while the parents are busy smiling at him and making sure that they aren’t being unsociable.

In the north no matter who is to blame, if a girl mentions a guy being a pest at home, with in half an hour of that the guy would be in danger of loosing his balls either because of her father or her brother or even some uncle! A slobbering uncle is firmly put in place. But as Evelin (one of the very interesting people that I chatted with there over a few drinks) said, it is more of a matter of “izzat” in the north. The girl needs to be protected as the izzat or name of the family depends on it. It has nothing to do with the girl feeling loved or needed.

I do not commend either of the approaches. But then arose the question, should the women really look to the men to protect them? Should the women feel vulnerable and victimized?

As Surabhi (another lovely person I met) voiced, it is actually a question about where a line should be drawn; because all women enjoy attention at some time or the other. They do feel cheated when do not draw stares and appreciative glances when they have made an effort to look nicer than usual. But when the line is crossed and the stares become offensive is something which requires a clear definition.

But I must say that women are “asking for it” when they wear cleavage showing, skin-showing attire. Knowing the kind of uncouth behavior which most men have, it is tempting them to do something. It is like leaving the window of your expensive car down in an area which is famous for thieves who steal car audio systems. A rather stupid thing to do, if you ask me.

The event was in full swing with a few videos being screened and the people moving to tables at the cafe to have intriguing discussions. Representatives of the press having clicked enough pictures were either departing or relaxing with the rest of the crowd.
Just while the conversation was getting more intense I was reminded that I was at the place all by myself and had gotten there on my two-wheeler. So the thought of an unsafe ride through the dark alleys of Bangalore (the power cuts make the roads more conducive to unlawful acts) made me take leave from an event the main intention of which was to empower and emancipate women against the vile creatures on the streets!! Ironical.

How Opal Mehta got kissed and made me wild!!!

2006-10-31T09:31:00.001-08:00

Found time to devour a lot of books last week. But went through the misery of finishing one the worst tasting ones in my life – “How Opal Mehta got kissed, got wild and got a life”!! Uuuuuuuuuhggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m surprised Harvard didn’t kick Kaavya Viswanathan out after she let loose this monster of hers. Or how these did not deny her claim of studying in such an esteemed institution! Harvard just went down a few notches in my regard.

Seriously, this girl must have had a tormented childhood. If she thinks Indian parents are so dense and has an opinion that mothers lack common sense, nobody can help her! And she is so full of contradictions! First she gives a teary, emotional, woeful tale about how her parents struggled through poverty to give her a life with minimum comforts and suddenly she talks about spectacular annual Diwali parties and her mother’s ever existent elegant and expensive style of dressing! Moreover, Indian parents and booze parties are not to be written about on the same page, let alone same line. (Yeah, I know I’ve made the booboo too).

The book sounds like a running commentary from a girl somewhere in the middle of her I-am-so-ordinary-looking-that-I-could-pass-off-for-a-mild-crack-on-the-wall adolescence, about all the time away from school that she spends watching movies like Princess Diaries, Clueless, Bend it like Beckham (and a movie with a math geek becoming popular, I think) and all other make-over stories, harboring a hope that something like that would happen to her too. The most popular guy, who she MUST adore secretly, who later turns out to have cabbage breath, broccoli ears, pig nose and the dorky guy who admires her and eventually reveals his coolself, are of course a part of the prop!

Though, I must admire her concentration while watching those movies on Star Movies (or it might even be that she has caught repeat telecast of these movies every single time). She has followed the routine to catch even the slightest details! The haughty three-girl-bitch team, the two geeks, who were intially her "friends" and the exact number of appropriately time goof ups can be perfectly visualized!

And one should not miss the wild party where she ends up in the only empty room to do some soul searching! Only thing missing was her ending up as the prom queen. Or did that happen too? I have suppressed (tried my best to) most of the contents of the nightmare. AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

{Phew}
She did catch my attention and made me dedicate a blog post!!

Klueless again

2006-10-29T22:17:00.000-08:00

Klueless is back and I'm possessed again!!!

http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris-2006/irising/klueless/index.asp

Started on it last night and could hardly sleep.. Stuck on level 18 from morning and can't work!!

Update:

Solved completely... phew... what a day at work!! ;)

The first of the perpatetic urges

2006-10-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

The other day I decided to walk to Styx (M G road) from office (millers road), despite the horrified looks, disbelief and discouraging comments from my non-biological Ma! It is a good 3- 3.5 mile walk, which I covered in about 30 minutes. It was sun down and hence I was spared the harsh sun and the accompanying sweltering heat. (I know, something freaky is going on. Bangalore is not supposed to be this hot in October. Hell! Bangalore is not supposed to be this hot at any time of the year!). The fresh, gentle breeze was a welcome change from the stuffy office coolness, which sometimes is so cold that you can feel your bones freezing and turning brittle.

Like I was saying, the air was cool and as the home – bound traffic had not hit its zenith, not much carbon monoxide choking the lungs either. My walk took me through Ali Askar road, which has lots of trees forming a boulevard of sorts; infantry road – quite a large number of trees considering that the cement and glass edifices fight for altitudinal dominance on either side of the road; down the road separating KSCA and Cubbon Park and finally down MG Road.

The Cubbon (guessing) road has many manicured patches of green grass and the wide expanse of wild vegetation from Cubbon Park enhances its splendor. The corporation people generally chose this time (about 5.30 pm) to water the grass. The fragrance of the fresh, wet grass along with the cool, moist envelope encompassing the areas around these patches was refreshing! The park around the Mahatma Gandhi statue at the beginning of MG Road is also well maintained. I hadn’t paid much attention to that earlier though. Honestly, I have noticed that place only when there are people squatting in front of it with banners, shouting slogans- staging a dharna!

But as a peripatetic, it is hard to not feel irritated with some sections of the footpath on this road have no path for the foot at all! With the uncontrollable need of the administration to widen roads, in places where the trees stand the base of the tree occupies the entire width of the path. One is forced to get on to the road to get past these!! Nothing less than a miracle if you manage to reach the end of this road without any motorist or rickshaw guy grazing past you!!

The walk on what is called the MG boulevard was beautiful to start with; little red flowers carpeting the way; cozy stone benches placed at well spaced intervals; evenly cobbled walk way; an artist or two occupying these benches and letting their imagination soar. But as you walk the tress become scarce, the plastic and paper thrown by people who walk/ sit/ kootchie koo there deflate your expectations from humankind, some more. The trees still stand, thankfully, but the surface of the earth right below these trees seems unnatural. There is no vegetation what so ever, no weeds even! It resembles a site of debris! Not sure if this was the work of the people who set up stalls there as a part of Art Walk held there every December or the extension of the work carried out as a part of the B’lore metro (which is nothing but a 2 feet * 2 feet square patch cordoned by metal screens or just the freaky handiwork of nature!! The view into the parade grounds is quite impressive though. The massive fort like structure within had a touch of scenic beauty owing to the setting sun.

But then, one can’t ignore the stench of urine either!! What starts off as a lovely walk at the Anil Kumble circle- end turns into a garbage pile/ men’s’ urinal/ burning ground for trash at the Brigade road junction –end!!
If you concentrate on the flickering lights and colorful boards on the other side of the road, you can just about end the walk in a good mood!!

The waits for “to-walk” signals at many junctions were a tad annoying. But what was really irritating was the attitude of men as they drove past all along the way. The general attitudes were:
· Purposely coming too close to you when you walk on the road
· Giving startling shouts or yells from behind/ next to you or even after passing you by.
· Shoving their hands out either from two-wheelers or out of the windows if in four-wheelers in an act to grab you when you are waiting to cross the road.
· Slowing down next to you as you walk and giving you lecherous stares and leering smiles.
It is really sad that none of them actually slowed down with the intention of being genuinely helpful. That, I guess, is asking for too much.

But overall the walk lifted my spirits. Have decided to do this more often. I’m sure I’ll have something different to say the next time I take the same route!!

CCA-Unicef Special Mention

2006-10-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

Quite saddening....

Routes?

2006-10-12T00:38:00.000-07:00

Was pointed to this interesting site by a friend: http://local.live.com.

Could easily be mistaken for an attempted imitation of Google Earth, but is actually quite different from it. This is more of a map than an aerial view for one! The names of most of the places are displayed once you run a search.
Entire routes can be traced out by searching for the “driving directions”. You can get the routes either by the shortest duration or by the shortest distance(though both trace out the same route!!). The names of even the tiny-tiny towns have been mentioned.

Not very sure about the basis on which the time has been calculated though!! For instance, the directions to Chennai from Bangalore -

4 hours 10 minutes to Chennai? The taxi driver certainly took me for a ride (yeah, sad pun) when I traveled to Chennai in September! It took us about 5 hours to get to the outskirts of Chennai and almost an hour and a half inside the city! (this was with a jam-free Hosur).

Not looked through the whole thing yet. More when I’m done!!

Update:

http://maps.google.com/maps

Hmmm.. Why am I not amused? Looks very familiar doesn't it?? But guess what? You can't bank on this to find your way in India!!

An interesting Sunday

2006-10-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

With the rangashankara theatre festival starting today, I decided to be the early bird and catch a show, what with the worm being really, really succulent – a play by Girish Karnad called “ Flowers “. Supposedly a monologue by Rajat Kapoor (Read more here). But as luck would have it all tickets were sold out! We tried to get tickets at around 1 pm and all tickets for the 3.30 pm as well as the 7.30 pm show were all gone. The lady I spoke to literally laughed out loud when I asked her if there was any other way I could get a couple of them. And then I got the point and moved out of that place.

Headed to Forum, the mall!!!! Finding a parking slot was like moving through a labyrinth, with two wheelers forming the walls!! What was really amazing was that the mall could house so many people at any given instant. How could all of them fit in? Once I got it, it wasn’t hard to figure out. Crowded is an understatement. People, people everywhere; each one with a weird kink!! (I know, I know, that was pathetic). This place is more of a family outing spot than a mall on Sundays. Parents with their kids, in-laws, siblings, uncles and aunts, their kids and cousins and their neighbors, all land up there for the weekend out! And the Forum shopping festival added a new dimension today. With colored strips of clothing draped all over the place and pretty-pretty lights adding their sparks (looked more like a jatre to me).

In the middle of the mall, there is a small island of empty space. This is where some exhibition or events of the mc kinds are usually held. Today the items on exhibit were laptops. With a sprinkle of half interested shoppers playing around on them.

Amidst all the family talk, kids yelling and general crowd noises, out of nowhere some sufi music started playing. Lovely music and right in the middle of the island stands a guy in a three layered skirt. The one on top is a multi-colored one with lots of embroidery and mirror work and the one beneath is bright yellow, with mirror work- embroidery at the ends matching his shirt and the pants he wore beneath the skirts. He wore an embroidered cap on this head wrapped in a black cloth and a yellow strip around it. In his hand he held a drum (the kind where calico or similar variety of cloth is stretched taut across a circular frame). The drum though was quite unlike the usual ones. There were concentric frames with in the outer one. The cloth had some embroidery on it too! The man started turning round and round to the rhythm of the music. Holding the drum on- around- above his head, striking poses as he whirled around. His skirts flowed round him, the mirrors on them reflecting the lights of the mall and forming a very enthralling scene. Maintaining the flow and rhythm, he removed the outer drum to reveal another one inside. he made formations with both of them now. This was repeated four more times when the guy had six different drums in his hand. The deft way in which he handled the drums with out breaking the flow and not dropping any of them even once was really amazing. He got all of them back into one again and threw them, one by one, to a guy waiting on the sides to catch them. Did not miss his aim once!

The music was beautiful. The drum act took about 15 minutes and the guy hadn’t faltered once. Next he started rotating around the place making his skirt float in different directions. ( reminded me of one of the rides in the parks called tora-tora). He just danced around, revolving, rotating, keeping with the music. Then all of a sudden he lifted the outer layer of his skirt up! The multi-colored skirt was a three-fold one. One layer was down, the other up to his head and the other went way above his head. It was like a rotating lamp shade! Enthralling!! Then the outer two layers were taken off the top of his head, as they were apparently detachable, and he tossed that around like a pizza base. All this with him rotating at a constant pace and not missing a step. The tempo of the music increased and he rotated faster, in a frezied manner! He came to a stop with folding the skirt into a neat bundle and taking a bow.

The whole act lasted like 25 minutes and the guy was not a least bit dizzy. It was then announced that he was an Egyptian dancer, not sure about his name and the dance form (think this was an example of whirling dervishes). But it was certainly a pleasant surprise and a lovely change from the monotonous activities of the mall. My only regret was not having a camera on me!

Anaemia/ Anemia

2006-10-03T09:33:00.000-07:00

Anemia:
Anemia (AmE) or anaemia (BrE), from the Greek (Ἀναιμία) meaning "without blood", refers to a deficiency of red blood cells and/or hemoglobin. This results in a reduced ability of blood to transfer oxygen to the tissues, causing hypoxia; since all human cells depend on oxygen for survival, varying degrees of anemia can have a wide range of clinical consequences. Hemoglobin (the oxygen-carrying protein in the red blood cells) has to be present to ensure adequate oxygenation of all body tissues and organs.

This is what wikipedia has to say. Quite simply, anemia is a stage where your body does not have the required amount of Iron. I have always been anemic as far as I can remember. The acceptable hemoglobin count being around 12, mine used to hover between 9 and 10.
Recently, mine hit an all time low of 7.8. Scared the hell out of me. I started getting dizzy when I lifted weights in the gym; got real tired with just half a day of work; looked pale and unhealthy; lost a lot of weight; started hating the idea of eating and the works.

Nonetheless, the low figure in the report reassured me. I had myself rather worried for sometime that I could hardly think/ innovate/ ideate to my satisfaction. I used to be sapped out by 10.30 pm; could not read a book!! Thinking tired me!!!! It was quite scary. But, these are/ were the symptoms of anemia- and I had better deal with them. The brain does not get enough oxygen to function efficiently.
Now, I have started to take extra care and am consciously eating lots of food and healthy food at that. After all, I don’t want to reach one of the advanced stages of anemia- DEMENTIA!!!

Food for thought....

2006-09-20T02:17:00.000-07:00

Peanuts, the salted, sand-roasted variety! Those which ruffian-looking men(haven’t seen women selling them yet!!) on streets (literally on them) constantly toss around in sand, warmed constanly in an iron kadai! These are sold in paper cones of varying sizes, depending on the price that one pays.

I’m addicted to roasted peanuts!!!!!!! If I see one of these push wagons on the road, I cannot let it pass without buying some peanuts. And note, a two rupee packet only! The hot, crispy, lip-smacking salty peanuts on cold, rainy days lift my spirits. The warmth that they pass to my hands, the comfort of munching on something crispy, the salt and the sand traces that trail about on your tongue obscurely (you can never find the exact spot where the taste lingers to concentrate on it)! The popping of these peanuts onto my tongue is a rather profound gesture. The period that a peanut takes to be masticated and swallowed is just about right for me to come up with a single strain on the thought I am delving on. I give myself a mental/physical nod, pop another peanut in my mouth and proceed to strip the thought in my head further.

All said and done, I am always wary of a few wicked vendors! Giving me a bad bargain for my money is not much of a worry. But if the peanuts are not roasted crisp, if they are not hot or if the salt is inadequate I am deeply disturbed! It affects my chi. I can’t think straight for hours (do I ever? That I know is debatable).

Considering the devastating effect that these “thought pills” have, I have decided that I shall let every vendor know what I think about the peanuts that I buy from them! So, BEWARE YOU VILE, WICKED NUT MEN!! (Can’t think of a better name).

worn out grey cells...

2006-08-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

Time moves, they say. Anything that moves should have speed (if not a specific value at least a comparable one). So what is the speed of time?

Speed is measured with respect to time. So let us find the speed per second. Time travels 1 second per second. (It is distance / time. But here distance would be 1s, as thats what time traverses in a second)
1s/1s
This ends up giving you a constant 1. Which means Speed of time is just a constant. So where are the units for speed? No speed? time does not move?

I object!
Time travels 360/60 deg per second.
=> Time move at 6 degrees per second!!

Oh what ever...

Disclaimer: If this manages to trespass on the religious beliefs of some people or gets them/others to slap their palm against their forehead, then that truly was the intention behind this post.

Jack of all or Ace of one?

2006-04-22T07:46:00.000-07:00

Would you rather be proficient in one particular skill or be somebody who can get comfortable with any skill as time or a whim might demand? Do not be misled by the “or” in the previous sentence. When I say comfortable, I mean that the latter is adept to an extent seeing tasks through to completion. Probably be painfully particular about getting it right. But the knowledge about the skill itself would be limited to the basics. It would be sufficient to create ripples, which would of course be prominent on the surface but not strong enough to create a whirlpool that would shake the core, as the other would be.

Being an Ace takes time, patience, dedication, drive and of course the most important factor, some amount of the basics being inherent in you. First, you need to first realize with conviction, what exactly you are good at. You then try to inculcate into yourself, every miniscule aspect of the skill, explore it thoroughly and be confident enough about it to draw your own map!

This would imply concentrating on that one skill only and not be side tracked into diversifying into something else during that time. But once you have complete control over it you need not be bothered about anything else at all. Your competence and perfection will speak for themselves and do the rest for you.
You would be acclaimed best in that field and everybody would turn to you when they feel inept in handling anything in that particular line.

It is akin to having complete power over that domain. You are the master, when it comes to that skill.
Then again, when it comes to any other domain you would have to settle for letting someone else take over. It is like cordoning yourself off and limiting the exposure that you might get.

“Jack” on the other hand is malleable. You try your hand at everything around, either because it catches your fancy or just due to plain necessity and can actually deal with it as much as the requirement is. You are ready to experiment, take on any task and see it through to completion.

As mentioned earlier, the depth of knowledge about any one single field cannot be called extensible. Though you might take a tad longer than a pro, you will nonetheless get the job done.
Similar to having a finger in every pie, the question would be whether you are entitled to eat it too! Or would you just be spreading yourself too thin?

Then again, you would have a taste of all fields; enjoy the variety and the experience of learning something new, constantly!!

So, what do you think, Jack or an Ace??

Eureka??

2006-03-16T21:12:00.000-08:00

Laws of Classical Physics. Something I never did try to relate to in life other than on occasions where I tried out the various illustrations shown in my textbooks from school and felt rather proud of myself.

Newton was a dude!! Check one of the most brilliant principles he came up with, which formed the basis for many other fundamental concepts in Physics. I am talking about “Inertia” here.

Every body perseveres in its state of being at rest or of moving uniformly straight ahead, except insofar as it is compelled to change its state by forces impressed.

The profound statement took on a whole new dimension yesterday. I was sitting in front of my terminal in office, the screen of which looked dreary with a complex(to my namadic grey cells) Visual C++ code, which suspiciously seemed to have been on exhibit for the past four hours. This was of course not taking into account the numerous colorful breaks the screen was given with the inbox of all mail hosts which provide me e-mail access. But what actually had my attention was the clock hung right beside my station. I was looking at it with dreamy eyes and with many a sigh, urging both its hands to allign themselves to form a perfect vertical line, which was a sign to shut down the computer and hed home!!!

That was when it struck me! The clock was proving the theory of inertia word for word ( or word for a second? What ever)! Their preservation of the state of rest was very, very awe-inspiring. Isaac, kudos to you. The true essence of your statement dawned on me at that particular instant.
If only my teachers could read this I’m sure they would beam with pride!!

Now, I'm back in the same position, facinated by the same clock, urging the hands to be vertical again. This time round the positions of the hands are to be interchanged...

GM- not general motors!!!

2006-03-16T00:37:00.000-08:00

First fruits, now it's dogs!! Genetically modified dogs. White and dark brown are their colors. Just saw a few of them, swishing their long, multi strand tail (yup, modified that too), around 6 feet tall and eating grass at that!! Wont they ever stop??

(yeah, yeah! Tripping again. Those were horses as "mommy" later corrected)

Outburst1 (yup, there are going to be many others)

2006-03-15T20:53:00.000-08:00

I think it's time I hung a board around my neck or wore boards like the sandwich men do. Written on it would be my self-proclamation that I am bad news. More like, "I'm an unstable, radioactive nuclide whose decay is unpredictable and is likely to reach its half life any moment!! Do not step within the toxic, hramful radiation range of me. Am very, very dangerous and would suggest you not to have any form of contact, physical, mental or emotional".

Oh yeah, I need to remember to type the words out in bold, Arial, font size 30! Because the surface area of the third planet from the sun (haven't met any living creatures from the others) certainly does have morons, who would fail to read the words until and unless it practically strikes them on their faces and they are like a hair breadth away from the board!! (Can I like call them oxy-morons? They do depend on oxygen..)

I am in a skunky (yeah Venkat, this word did show a red underline on Word and I ignored it) mood, if it wasn't obvious to you by now. It stinks. Call it PMS, fishing for compliments, a display of craving for attention and appreciation, whining or anything on similar lines. If you did, you would not be far from the truth. What am I saying, it would be the exact truth as it is an integration of all those and more. It's a mixture of feeling unappreciated, driven against the wall, drained out, used, looked condescendingly upon, giving more than the affordable limit!

I’m in a mood where I feel I’ve down more than anybody around deserves and they fucking don’t even realize it. Yeah, I do some “look-at-what-all-I’ve-done” talk, but the effect of that might last an infinitesimal, one millionth of a nano second! And if you ask me, the response for such a talk rates somewhere just below bleak.

And then there are the kinds who have the preconceived notion that I cannot do anything right. I mean, even if my competence is staring right in their face, they’d rather develop a sudden case of temporary blindness and be comfortable in their zombie state of existence. “Comfortably Dumb” better describes it, modifying floyd’s words of course.

I feel I'm constantly trying to live up to expectations, and sadly falling short of it every so often! I'm trying to cross a bar and the moment I get somewhere near it, it's raised again! The consequence, I seem to leave a feeling of being let down. I was not good enough. I did a boo-boo. A look which says "you promised..".

But then I do get a 3 once in a while!! Don’t you think I’m not capable of that! 3 being “meets expectations” in the corporate jargon. The reactions for those are much worse. I’d rather crib about not being appreciated than meet the expectations and feel screwed about it. The smug expression which seem to say, “baby, aren’t you going to thank me for letting you reach the expected mark?” Blech!!

Hell, I never promised anything. I do not ask you to expect anything out of me. I don't care if I dint meet your expectation. I don't care if I hurt you. It doesn't bother me one iota of a molecule that you're emotionally traumatized! What does bother me is, you blaming me for it. Those accusing eyes say all that your lips don't have the courage to. The guilt trip, for which my conscience just won an all expenses paid ticket.

I stretch myself beyond the allowable limit mentioned on the manufacturer's tag that I was created with. I do that because I want to. It is also a matter of a sense of being invincible. No one can do all that I can! And of course the gain constantly needs to be in the horizon.

Appreciation, of course is one of the goals. I'm no saint or angel. To slog my ass off and say "I did it for my own sense of fulfillment" is not what I subscribe to. Charity organizations placate that side of me. I deal with everything else with at least some returns in turn.

The giving is done with the goals kept at an arm's reach. When it decides to shift beyond, I lose interest. I fell fettered and get restless. A cause, which did not turn out to be a good one after all.

Temperamental, would be a good term to attribute for my actions. Push me and the connection is snapped.

So, if I am showing concern, putting in hard work and you if by some miracle do realize that I’m stretching myself, do appreciate it. I ever do things for you that even you feel are more than what you asked for, remember those. I will trade for those when I want to.

And guess what, these are my expectations!! You don't meet mine, it won’t take me long to severe the thin, silken thread. And I’m not even strengthening the ones you are tying. Personally, I hate anything that binds me!!

(Invictus, have I irked you again?)

The climax to the mystery called women!

2006-02-17T11:12:00.000-08:00

What is it with men? Is the production of testosterone in their body so high that it starts filling up the space between their ears? I guess logically it must, if its property is to fill up all the available empty regions in the anatomy a male, species homo sapien!

The need of the male ego to be accepted and branded as “cool” by their fraternity is so dominant that they fail to think and decide what exactly “THEY” want in a female companion. For instance it is un-cool to accept that a guy is genuinely nice to a girl and cares for her. Unless he is ready to un-belong, which most guys do not have the balls to do!

In their adolescence they decide that the rush of adrenaline and the heady feeling they get at the sight of enormous boobs, fair skin and a glimpse of bare legs, is all they need to keep alive. Then the idea of maturity and need to “evolve” sets in and the sight of a pretty face sets their hearts a-flutter. This is soon replaced by the need to get laid and the theory that “once the lights are off, the face and color cease to be issues” is religiously subscribed to.

The evolution process does not come to an end there! The men then reach the pinnacle of their intellectual era and a new concept that a smart woman, who can carry on an “intellectual” conversation without faltering, is worth five times one with a 36 B strikes them like lightening! This era soon comes to an end with the moral being smart woman are as factual as a skinny Santa Claus, who gets down chimneys! The men go back to chasing bare legs in short skirts and the cycle begins all over again.

Somewhere in the middle of one of these recurring cycles, probably after the third time round, men decide to rest awhile, play the martyr and decide to extend their necks towards the guillotine called a “steady relationship”.

The “chosen one” from the opposite sex is showered with more attention than she ever dared to dream about, placed atop a pedestal (preferably in a short skirt), worshipped and told a million times a minute that she is perfect.

Once the mist clears her blemishes start coming into focus, probably even starting with a pimple on her face! If she’s confident and smart – she’s arrogant and has an attitude problem; if she dares to talk and makes jibes at them – she’s high strung and probably even a dominatrix! And of course there are the clingy and emotional varieties, who apparently wear their hearts on their sleeves. If she cares- she is over bearing and suffocating, if she doesn’t make a fuss and pamper the guy, she is bloody cold bitch!

The silent types are boring; the gregarious ones give them a headache, or better, are shameless flirts! Girls with a great sense of humor are silly and giggly (knowing the males, their thought processes are too slow to get the joke). The strong, clever ones are intimidating, to say the least.

Girl with a good taste - wastes money on unnecessary things. Doesn’t spend loads on her looks, is a typical tomboy!

Spends the guy’s money, she is expensive and high maintenance. There is a huge ego problem if she does not ask the guy to spend on her.

One who is considerably acceptable in all domains is termed as “Not a girl at all”!

Hell! High time these fuss pots stopped wasting time on categorizing the female types on the pretext that they are trying to understand the mystery behind them and decided what exactly they are looking for in a female. Or, men take the best and most suited path – turn homosexual!!

2006-02-15T10:14:00.000-08:00

My first ever article to be published!

http://bhashaindia.com/Patrons/LanguageTech/TamilScript.aspx

2006-02-15T10:06:00.000-08:00

Just words

Write, I must, something
Cause, bottled up, I cannot stay
In tangents, it chooses to run, my mind,
To move, it refuses, in one way

To control, I never knew, it was so difficult
One’s mind, when it’s under duress
Wild, it runs, dwelling on nothing for long
A lot of mass it does gather, nonetheless!!

Duress, I say, caused by what
Finding that, probably, will be a balm
For all the abrasions, to the mind, overdrive caused
Something like, after the storm, the calm

Penning this down, or should I say typing,
Certainly, in me, seems to fill,
Tranquility,
But not stop pondering, I will
To think and think and again think, is an action
Without which my survival is improbable!!!!

Di
27th Oct ‘05